are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
