Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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