its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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