Do you still have your period?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
