Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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