You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
