Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
