I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
