I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
