i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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