The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
