My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
