I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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