Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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