she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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