But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
