Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
