The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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