all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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