...so i touched it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
