Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
