I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm getting married
To pizza
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
