im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
