i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
