I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
