he was CRYING into my vagina
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he fucked my hip out of place.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
