i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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