Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
