I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
