I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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