This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
