its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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