I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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