Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
