Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
