The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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