I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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