next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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