i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
