can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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