oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
