i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
