So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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