Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
