I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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