do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
