What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
