his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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