Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
