Screwed.edu
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
