what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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